Nguey@ Speaks, "What is it to be Self Possessed?"
What is it to be self possessed?
In the dark I laugh, at myself, with myself and my spirits, over the beauty, power, and knowledge that arises out of understanding spiritual agitation and the mysteries that bloom from it. A smile that is spread across my face, but is not mine, pushes it’s way to the surface in this room that is obscured and has no visible audience. What’s so funny? What is the laughter for?
Integrity, what does this word mean to me? Integrity to me, is about being honest and true to myself at all times. Yaya Nganga Mama Fionke mentions in one of her posts that “Knowing yourself is crucial to working Palo.” She also mentions that Palo seeks us out and it is usually out of life circumstance. The image of a Lemniscate forms within my Vititi and I can see this constant loop of being chosen by this tradition and having integrity, being self possessed, agitation, failure/tripping, understanding, healing, getting back up, elevating, aligning spiritually, and being once again, nocked off balance. How beautiful is it to know that words can never accurately describe what the world of Palo has yet to reveal to us. My Muerto speaks often of things regarding education and has the pride only the Erudite can claim and yet, reminds me that intelligence is not just books or ability. Knowledge is not just gleaned from being correct and written. Intelligence can be built through failure, tears, heartbreak, loneliness, solitude, introspection, and many of the other bitter tastes of life. I am hearing that insanity isn’t too far off from understanding. Expecting the same thing to occur each time is a missed opportunity to learn something different about a situation, each time. Listen, learn, take note (physical or mental), and change course step by step.
Awé,
Nguey@ Giovani